PROBLEM My mouth is doing an impression of the Sahara
SOLUTION Oral rehydrating salts in half a litre of water
“Your head will thank you in the morning if you pre-empt dehydration before you go to bed,” says Howard. “Knocking back a couple of pints of water will help, but it’ll also interrupt your sleep when you wake up busting for a piss. Oral rehydrating salts give you more bang for your buck.”
PROBLEM Everything’s too loud
SOLUTION Barocca and two aspirins
“If the salts weren’t enough to save you from a headache, this will,” says Howard. “Aspirin is far less toxic than paracetamol so you can neck two without making more hard work for your already strained liver. Barocca probably doesn’t actually help that much physically, but the psychological cleansing effect can’t be beaten.”
PROBLEM Not sure if I can move
SOLUTION Fresh fruit smoothie and a coffee
“You’ll crave salt and fat, but that’ll only slow you down. Make yourself a fresh smoothie if you have a blender – the sugar provides a natural energy boost and no matter how dodgy your staomach is feeling it’s not likely to cause any digestive grief,” says Howard. “Caffeine gives that extra kick up the arse you’ll need to get out of the house.”
PROBLEM The mid-morning slump
SOLUTION A banana
“Avoid energy drinks. You’ll feel great for an hour, but then you’ll crash and burn,” says Howard. “Bananas do the trick without the comedown.”
PROBLEM Will this day ever end?
SOLUTION The gym
“The last thing you’ll probably want to do is go and sweat it out in the weights room, but the endorphin release makes you feel amazing… once it’s over,” says Howard. “But I wouldn’t recommend doing anything too vigorous if your stomach is still in disarray or else you might find yourself making some new, muscle-bound enemies who aren’t fond of the smell of vomit while working out.”
